Question:

I was wondering if it possible for a man to live without lust?  Wherever we go we are bombarded by sexually explicit images and texts.  Being a woman I think men have more trouble controlling their lust compared to a woman.

Answer:

This is an interesting question to come from a woman.  I believe that God made both men and women as sexual beings.   We have physical anatomy and biochemistry which causes us to desire sexual intimacy. There is also an emotional component to this desire.  I believe God made us that way, both in order that we would produce children (“Be fruitful and multiply”), and so that a man and a woman could have a deep intimacy in marriage.  Sex is good and sexual desire is good withing the God-created boundaries.

As a corrolary to this physical attraction, both men and women will experience the temptation to lust.  If anyone tells you they do not have this temptation they are probably either lying or out of touch.   The fact that we are tempted is not a sign of a “mistake” by God.  For example, we have a desire for food which is a good thing, but this desire can lead to temptation to overindulge.  Temptation is part of the human experience.

The next question is do all of us who are tempted also at least at times sin by lusting.  Being tempted toward lust is not a sin, but giving in to that lust is a sin.   I suppose it might be possible for an adult to reach the point that they literally no longer give in to the temptation and no longer lust.  However, I suspect that this kind of person is either extremely rare or perhaps even completely non-existent.  You imply that men, on average, have greater struggles with lust.  I am sure this is true.  Men have certain temptations they struggle with more and women have their own special temptations.  Hopefully, although you recognize this male weakness, you will not judge all men negatively and will understand that women have their particular struggles as well. 

So, my answer is that it is impossible for people to not be tempted to lust and it is either impossible or extremely unlikely that anyone (male or female!) will completely put aside the sin of lust.  This is not evidence of an error on God’s part but it is evidence that we have fallen and what is good for us (including the desire for sexual intimacy) has been corrupted by sinful men and women.

John Oakes