What does the Bible say happens to homosexuals? If it is not a choice how can it be a sin and mean being sent to hell upon death? I’m a Christian but have a few homosexual friends who are bitter towards the church because of this, what should I tell them?
The Bible does not single out homosexuals as any more or less sinful than adulterers, liars, drunkards, arrogant people and other sinners. Homosexual acts are clearly a sin (Romans 1:26-27) and are a perversion of what God made to be a good thing, which is sexual relations between a husband and wife. I believe, however, that it is a mistake for Christians to somehow mark homosexuality as more sinful or as a special category to be singled out. This mistake is a common one, and is a shameful blot on true Christianity.
You seem to believe that homosexuality is not a choice. I beg to differ with you on that. The homosexual community may try to present it as something we are born with and inevitable. I do not deny that some people are born with a stronger tendency toward this particular sin. Others are born with more tendency to alcoholism, sexual promiscuity, violence, and any of a host of other sins. The fact that one person is genetically more disposed toward one sin than another does not remove our responsibility to repent and to stop sinning. Those who are attracted to the opposite sex more strongly cannot use this as an excuse that "the devil made me do it" any more than those who are attracted to the same sex. All are responsible for their own sin.
Will homosexuals go to hell if they do not repent? I believe that they will. I believe that liars will go to hell if they do not repent. I believe that swindlers, arrogant people, abusers, selfish people, manipulators and gamblers will all go to hell if they do not repent. In other words, all of us will go to hell if we do not repent of our sins. There is no difference (Romans 3:10-12). I will acknowledge that homosexuality carries some special issues with it, but in the end, there is no significant difference in how God will deal with one kind of sinner than another.
You should tell your homosexual friends that God loves them, that they are no "worse" than adulterers, those who engage in premarital relations with the opposite sex and others who have sex outside of marriage. There is as much hope for them as for anyone else. All they need to do is to repent of homosexual acts (as well as all their other sins, just like anyone else), accept the love of God, make Jesus Lord, be baptized, and they will be forgiven of their sins, receive the Holy Spirit and be saved of their sins. (Acts 2:36-38) Having homosexual thoughts is not, per se, a sin, any more than an unmarried person having heterosexual thoughts. It is how we deal with our temptations which matters. They should not feel guilty for their tendencies, but for their lack of repentance toward God.
In the meantime, you might want to apologize to your friends for the group sin of "Christians" who have ungraciously and hypocritically attacked homosexuals as somehow more sinful that themselves. The public hatred of homosexuals by supposed Christians is a slander on true Christianity. Heterosexual Christians should take the plank out of their own eye before they single out one group. If you acknowledge this unfortunate sinful behavior of some who call themselves Christians, you might be able to open your friend to a useful discussion about God’s love and his call for repentance of all men and women.